Followup to "The Terrible.....Eights???"

So a few days have gone by, and we've gleaned some additional information about what was allegedly a case of the terrible eights.  It turns out there was quite a bit more to the story about Tyler's behavior at school.

In the days subsequent to my previous post, we were called several more times about Tyler's behavior.  After talking to the new teacher, and Ashley having to go to his class more than once, we've decided we're going to have to homeschool him unless we're able to find a suitable alternative to his current classroom. 

For starters, Tyler's new "teacher" most likely has no teaching degree and has had no training in special education until just the other day; and that amounted to all of an 8 hour class.  In addition to these lovely revelations, we found out Tyler had been locked in a padded room not even as big as a coat closet, with no light whatsoever, for an undisclosed amount of time; this was a "timeout".  Not only that, but this was done during recess, unlike a normal timeout, and he was not given any bathroom breaks.  Ultimately, he took his clothes off and went to the bathroom in this room (we're assuming he took off his clothes so as not to get them messy).  This information was substantially different than the information we were initially given about the first incident. 

I guess I won't get into it much more than I already have, except to say that even beyond what I've told here, there's evidence of substantially more neglect and abuse on the part of the classroom staff; probably to other children as well.  Obviously we will be contacting the appropriate people at the school, the district, and beyond. 

To end this post, I'll give out a bit of advice.  Parents, if you have school age children, ESPECIALLY if they're involved in special education or another non-typical classroom environment, keep a close eye on them.  If you start getting reports of them suddenly acting up, or they are suddenly very unhappy about going to school, INVESTIGATE!!!  Talk to your kids, talk to the teachers, find out as much as you possibly can.  If something doesn't fit, or doesn't seem quite right, trust that feeling and dig deeper!!!  Your childrens' safety is at stake!!!

The Terrible.....Eights???

So what do you do when your normally well-behaved child suddenly starts acting up at home and in school?  No, it's not the terrible twos or the terrible teens; or even the terrible tweens.

Tyler's almost 8, and we got a call from his school today saying he'd gotten himself in some trouble.  I won't go into the details of what happened, but sufficeth to say he engaged in some behavior that is totally out of character, and as I mentioned, got him in a good deal of trouble at school.

Now, being Autistic, Tyler isn't always able to communicate clearly or effectively, and he sometimes has inappropriate emotional responses to various situations.  We just found out that his teacher and most or all of the classroom aides were replaced last week.  Tyler really liked his teacher, so that may be why he's recently been acting differently, but this is still such extremely out of character behavior for him.  Ashley and I are pretty upset about it, and are racking our brains for ways we can help him express and cope with his frustration.  Among other things, we'll be talking to his doctors and therapists, and hopefully we can nip this thing in the bud before it escalates.  We really don't want to have to pull him out of school.

Wish us luck! 

Weird Weather Behavior

Has anyone else noticed that children, and some adults, behave very differently when the weather changes, or is about to?

One of the ways I can tell if the weather's going to change, especially if it's going to storm, without even looking out the window, is that my kids start to behave very differently.  Okay, yes, my kids are Autistic, but this isn't limited to them.  I'm not Autistic, and something in me gets all fired up and antsy when there's a rain or snow storm coming, or if it's suddenly going to get warm and sunny after a long stormy stretch.  Yes, my kids are related to me, so you could make the argument that that's why they get all rambunctious and edgy with weather changes.  However, when I was in high school I had several teachers that would comment/complain about the fact that kids were harder to teach, and didn't pay attention nearly as well, if it was stormy outside or if it was suddenly getting all warm and sunny after awhile of being stormy.

Why do so many of us have a change in mood and behavior when the weather changes?  There's got to be some sort of scientific explanation, but what is it? 

Back to School

So the long weekend's been over for a couple days now, and thankfully, both Tyler and Sarah have been feeling well enough to go.  This makes me happy on several levels.

Primarily, obviously I'm glad my kids are feeling better.  It royally sucks to be sick when you're an adult.  It's ten times worse when you're a kid. 

Secondly, as any parent knows, especially a stay-at-home parent, when kids are sick they're a lot more work; I'm sure this makes me sound terrible, but it's true.  On top of whatever ailment related symptoms your kids are exhibiting, there's a lot more crying, whining, misbehaving, and general grossness.  There're generally a lot more runny noses, eye goobers, dirtyness, yucky breath, etc.  Plus, depending on what your kids are sick with, there's puking, the trots, coughing, nasty things that get hacked up from coughing, extra scary boogers, etc.  Sorry for being so graphic, but these things had to be said.  Anyway, the lack of all these scary things, as well as getting a little break from the kids that have been experiencing them, is another reason to be grateful they're feeling better and back to school.

Hooray for a little extra rest!!!

Diarrhea of the Mouth

I don't know how many of you have heard the term, "diarrhea of the mouth", in reference to someone who seemingly never shuts up, but right now I wish Tyler had diarrhea of the mouth rather than the other kind we've been dealing with. 

I feel bad for the poor kid because I know it's gotta be hard on his little body, and everybody hates having the trots once, let alone for several days.  It seems like he's either on the potty, in a diaper, which he normally doesn't need during the day, or in the shower after the diaper hasn't quite managed to contain the outward manifestation of the war that's raging inside my little boy's intestines.  Plus, he seems to feel pretty good other than that.  Maybe a little lethargic, but who wouldn't be after practically pooping for several days straight?  Because he feels mostly fine, he can't understand why he should have to spend all his "free" time resting quietly in bed reading or playing his handheld videogames.  He wants to be up and about rough-housing with Dad, playing around on the computer, going to school, and all the other things he normally gets to do.  We've tried to explain it a number of different ways, but it doesn't really seem to be sinking in.  Unfortunately, I think this is one of those things that most, if not all kids, have to just figure out for themselves as they get older; I know I did.  THIS SUCKS!!!

Apologies and Afterthoughts

First of all, I guess I need to make an apology and set the record straight.  Ashley read my blog, and feels I've made her out to be some sort of spoiled brat, pampered housewife; she even mentioned something about bonbons; I think she was only partially kidding.  I apologize to Ashley, and to everyone else that felt it came across that way.  That certainly wasn't how I meant things, and it certainly isn't the case.  Ashley does more for me, for our kids, and for our family as a whole, than I could ever hope to do.  Ashley is amazing, and even when she's sick and/or tired, she takes care of me with all my ailments, she does AT LEAST half the work of taking care of the kids.  She even takes the graveyard shift with them!  Anywho, I just wanted to make sure that everyone knows that Ashley is not spoiled, pampered, living a cushy lifestyle, or anything similar.  I'll quit gushing about her for a moment, lest anyone get the idea that she in any way encouraged, threatened, provoked, or otherwise pushed, me into making this apology.

Today has been a relatively okay day for all of us I think.  Apparently the morning started out a little rough, as Tyler woke up very early and started yelling at the top of his lungs for Ashley.  Thankfully, I slept through that.  Shortly after getting up, I'm told he got sick all over himself and his bedroom floor, so Ashley had to put him in the shower and clean up the mess.  I don't envy her her shifts with the kids, as it seems a lot of really unpleasant things happen on her shift; though there's certainly no shortage of incidents on my shift.  Ashley usually helps out quite a bit with the kids during the day (my shift) though too. 

Let's see, in addition to taking general care of the kids today, I did some laundry, picked up the house a bit, did some sweeping, and......yeah I guess that's about it.  It certainly seems like a lot more when you're in the thick of it though; especially since Chris and Ryan still take naps during the day, and their rooms are downstairs so there's a lot of stair mastering intrinsic to their care.

In closing tonight, I have a question.  Is anyone else weirded out when they go to change a kid's diaper, and colorwise it looks like the kid's been eating a Christmas tree, a pound of glitter, or some other colorful item that they shouldn't have?

Catching up

Alright, first off, I have to apologize for not posting yesterday.  Ashley's had a migraine for several days, and yesterday was pretty bad for her.  This meant that I took care of her in addition to taking care of the kids.  I don't begrudge that effort at all, I just didn't have time to post yesterday. 

At my house we consume vast quantities of Mt Dew; at least Ashley and I do.  We're slightly addicted to it.  For us it seems to cure and/or prevent most minor and mid-level ailments; in addition to being fantastically tasty of course.  Ashley has even found that it seems to be helping a bit with her migraine and cold.  I've been a Dewaholic since I was a kid.  In high school I was averaging a couple gallons a day.  Yes, you read that right; GALLONS!  Amazingly, I still have my teeth, and my kidneys still function properly.  I don't drink anywhere near that much now though.

It being a long weekend is pretty hard for our school age kids.  Since they're Autistic, they get very, very attached to their routines.  Consequently, long weekends, Christmas and Summer breaks, all stress them out since their normal routines are gone.  What we've come up with to help minimize their stress, and ours, is to try to mirror their school routines at least a bit.  We try to have their meals at the same times they would at school, engage them in some activities like they might be doing if they were at school, etc.

I haven't had the chance to do much around the house yesterday or today, but  I try to pick up a bit, and take out the garbage at least.  I need to check the fluids in the car, but haven't managed to make it happen just yet.  Hopefully Ashley will be feeling better soon, and then I'll catch up a little on my To Do list. 

Well folks, I think I'll end this post before I start rambling.  Besides, I gotta go grab a Dew from the fridge!!!

Later!

Slow day at the races

Today was a bit of a slower day for us, thankfully.  Unfortunately, my day still started at 8:30 in the morning. 


I woke up to find out that while Ashley had gotten Tyler off to school on the bus, Sarah had woken up with a nasty cold, and had to stay home.  Our kids are Autistic, and while it may not be true with all Autistic kids, ours tend to have immune systems that aren't the greatest.  That means we have to be extra careful when they get even a hint of sickness, otherwise they could very easily end up in the hospital.  Anywho, Sarah ended up staying home with us and the little boys today.  Luckily for her, there's a long weekend due to MLK day, so hopefully she'll be able to go back to school on Tuesday.


While Tyler was at school I cleaned up a little and let Ashley rest some; she's been a bit under the weather the last day or two.  Chris and Ryan are still young enough they nap a bit, so in between changing diapers and making bottles, I've been doing a few minor maintenance chores around the house lately.  We recently moved from an apartment into a house, but the house is a little older and needs some basic TLC.  Our landlord told us to basically treat the house like it's ours, and to do whatever we need to in order for our kids and ourselves to be comfortable.  So as a start, I've been cleaning drains, tightening screws, lubricating hinges, etc.


Being Autistic, our kids are extra sensistive to sensory input; among other things.  Basically what this means is that sights and sounds and smells that "typical" folks wouldn't think twice about, if they noticed them at all, can be physically and/or emotionally painful for our kids; and anyone else with Autism.  Those aren't the only signs of Autism, but the sensory issues are one of the primary day to day struggles of living with Autism whether as a sufferer or a loved one.  Autistic kids also tend to have a major lack of ability to understand safe versus unsafe, and this can even continue into adulthood.  In the name of compensating for that problem, one thing we've had to do with our kids is to use baby/safety gates on their bedroom doorways so that if they wake up early or just want to play in their rooms or something, they can't get out and get themselves hurt (Tyler and Sarah can open doorknobs and locks). 


It was an early out day for Tyler, and when he got home he wanted to get on the laptop; which we indulged.  He's ridiculously smart when it comes to computers though, so we have to watch him like a hawk to make sure he isn't reprogramming the computer or getting on sites we haven't put on his favorites list.  Anytime Tyler sees someone he knows with a cell phone, he asks to play games on it.  We always have to remind them that it's not a good idea to even let him hold their phone, as he'll get into, and change, anything and everything.  It doesn't matter how tough you think your password is, or if you have the keys locked, or anything like that; Tyler's practically a Savant when it comes to anything electronic.  It drives me totally nuts when he gets into the settings on the Xbox 360 and changes the language.  I guess in all fairness though, I learned a few words I didn't know before in French, Dutch, Spanish, and a couple other languages after having to undo Tyler's modifications. 


Eventually it got around to being dinner time tonight, and Ashley put together dinner for everyone.  Tyler's on a gluten-free casein-free diet since it helps cut down on some of his Autistic behaviors like flapping and spinning.  Sarah has been on the diet and it wasn't particularly effective for her, but she's on a diet of her own as she basically refuses to eat almost everything, and what she will eat changes at random.  Chris and Ryan end up with a combination of bottles and baby food, or "people food" as it's known at our house, and they usually have their "people food" around dinner time.  When they're older we'll try them each on the diet to see if it helps at all.  Ashley and I eat regular food, for which I'm eternally grateful, and she made us dinner tonight as well.  She's a wonderful cook, and I always love it when she cooks for us.  Sometimes I take a turn cooking since I'm also a pretty good cook; I base that opinion on statements Ashley and a number of others have made after eating meals I've made; though I enjoy my cooking too. 


The kids have varying bedtimes, due to age differences and a few other factors.  Chris has gotten so he'll usually sleep through the night, but Ryan's still young enough he wakes up several times most every night.  Daddy's in charge of bedtime for the kids, but I finally got everyone to sleep for the time being, so I thought it'd be a good time to do my post for the day.


Hope you all had a good one.  Catch ya on the flipside.

How I became a stay at home dad

Okay, so after quite awhile of vascillating back and forth about whether or not to start a blog, I finally gave in to that pesky voice inside that kept telling me to go for it.  The next question was what to write about.  My wife suggested I blog about being a stay at home dad, and after thinking about it for a bit, I decided to give it a shot.  What's the worst that can happen?  Nobody reads it, and I blow a little of my free time keeping what amounts to an online journal? 


Let's start with some basic background info.  My name is Sal, I'm married to the most spectacular woman on earth (Ashley), and we have four amazing special needs kids; Tyler is 7, Sarah is 4, Chris is 21 months, and Ryan is 8 months. 


I didn't start out as a stay at home dad, and never planned to be one.  I love my wife and kids with all my heart, but I enjoyed being a "typical" husband and father who went to work 40 hours a week, then came home and spent time with my beautiful family.  Unfortunately, due to some substantial health problems, I lost my job several years ago and have been unable to work since.  I was suddenly, and as the name of my blog implies "reluctantly", thrust into a lifestyle consisting of helping with the house chores and the kids on a virtually around the clock basis.  There was no more getting up in the morning to get ready for work, no more cavorting with coworkers, no more bringing home the bacon, no more "normal" life. 


Thankfully, I've come to truly enjoy my new lifestyle and all the extra time with my family.  I never really minded helping with the kids and the chores in the first place, and I only rarely miss having a job outside the home anymore.  Besides, as any stay at home parent can tell you, this IS a full time job.  Depending on how many kids you have and how old they are, it can be like having SEVERAL full time jobs.   


My basic plan for future posts is to simply give folks the chance to find out the day to day basics of being a stay at home dad, and hopefully to help other men who may be in similar situations realize that our lifestyle can be a real blessing and in no way makes you any less of a man or a provider.  We are providing crucial support to our families, albeit in a slightly different capacity than we're used to.


Anywho, it's time for me to go put some kids to bed, so I'm off for now.  I'm going to try and post daily, so I'll be back tomorrow; hopefully.


G'night all.